tizzylish

38 weeks + 6 days

2011-02-24T10:41:00.000-08:00

our little boy came to us the day after christmas= 38 weeks + 6 days

i've been working on writing his birth story since right after he was born. like life itself, so much is connected to his birth - all of who i was before his arrival and everything i have become since. the story of his birth has grown to contain a lot more than the 6 hours of labor.

this morning in the car silo told me that bones connect in places where we want to bend and in so many ways, this second little boy is one of those connections for our family. he was pivotal. we have changed, will never be the same ... moving in a slightly different direction as a family of four. even more, i am a new person. it is not something that is easily described in words, but i swear to you that i am not the same woman that i was and only time will reveal the ways in which i am changed.

i hope to finish editing my birth story soon. it is long. perhaps i will have to post a condenced version.

38 weeks + 2 days

2010-12-23T19:27:00.000-08:00

i think it was more than the fact that i have surpassed the length of my pregnancy with silo. i think it was more than the fact that that was the day he had been born (if looking at equivalents) ... it was more than the fact that i've started laying out a book about his first year (something that should have been done years ago) which brought me closer still to the woman who gave birth that first time around. it was more -- it was the fact that i am a different, more-prepared woman this time around. it was the fact that when i think about how far we have come together since that day, i am overwhelmed with emotion for this little boy who was once the mystery kicking inside me, and once the newborn who i realized i'd known so intimately before laying eyes on him ... but most of all i was overwhelmed with emotion about who he is today. i am so proud of him. i am in awe of him. he is his own person - just as he was with his very first breath.

i let myself mourn the passing of this time - the transition that we are embarking upon...i let myself mourn the 'letting go' of him, again. which is something i didn't know i needed to do when i was pregnant. i mourned the loss of being pregnant with him while in the midst of labor and that didn't work out so well for me. without consciously realizing it at the time, i see now that that is what those emotional days this week were about....'letting go' of the exclusivity of our relationship because we both will find our hearts expanding in order to love another little boy. silo will have his own relationship with him and that is pretty profound. he is so excited and so ready for it. i'm one step behind him. mothers are always the last one's to let go, right?

perhaps i will laugh once i am on the other side and our lives have all been changed by the arrival of this little one we've been waiting so long for. but there is irony in the fact that it is christmas time, because the anticipation involved with this transition we are about to embark upon is not unlike that of a child's anticipation for christmas. excting, agonizing, with just a small pinch of worry ... that maybe santa won't come through because i wasn't 100% nice -- or 100% ready.

36 week affect

2010-12-09T20:44:00.000-08:00

i should sleep. i should go to sleep. i'd like to give myself 15 minutes to empty some of the abundance that is in my brain. perhaps doing so would become a record of the crazy that 36 weeks of pregnancy can do to a woman's brain. obsess. nit-pick. rewind. worry. the second time around is harder because your mind can't focus only on the baby that is doing scissor kicks at the top of our belly and finger-waves at the bottom of your belly -- you must also parent your first born. and my first born has transitioned from my child safe at home where i know everything about him and every thing he does to a kindergartner out in the world .. interacting, absorbing, learning and growing. the parts i seem to be obsessing about are the ones i can't control -- mostly how he is received and treated -- mostly wanting everyone to like him (that's really what all Finns want, isn't it?) and maybe i'd be obsessing even if i wasn't 36 weeks pregnant and feeling the need to "nest" -- but i want to nest in my house, in my kitchen sink, on my calendar -- and apparently in my child's life. it all will be OK. this i know and believe. i feel the weight of time right now. both the substantial weight of the time we are living and the lightness of how quickly it all blows by. i feel the weight and i'm not always sure the best way to hold it ... or hold onto it ... or exist within it. i guess that's why it keeps moving, so that we can keep practicing.

i think now, i will go to sleep.

winds have changed...

2010-06-30T21:14:00.000-07:00

yes, indeed, i feel the change and while i had it pretty easy, i welcome this new (returned) energy, and this new phase. the garden has grown just as i have. i love the progress that summer reveals. i've been giving in to the urges to reorganize our nest ... i have painted and swapped silo & the guest rooms, completed yard projects and now am beginning to tackle the (overwhelming) basement. instead of just planning the space for a sauna (thanks to, and in memory of my grandpa) .. i'm rethinking and reworking the entire layout of the spaces in which we work. it feels good to play on the computer - to move things around with such ease. it feels so good....the potential, the anticipation of execution and hope for a more functional and simplified result. it is true what they say about having the urge to nest -- but i guess something needed to push me in that direction!

memorial day

2010-05-31T19:55:00.000-07:00

i haven't been writing or blogging or doing much of anything the past few weeks...except sleeping and trying to keep up with the life that we've created - trying not to get lost under the rug with the waves of absolute exhaustion.

today we talked about remembering. remembering people who are gone, since it is memorial day. i think my eyes were wet when she said it was OK to cry, because i had been thinking about my grampa on my solo ride down that morning. i've been thinking about him a lot lately, actually. nothing specific, really, just remembering him. that he was in my life - all of my life until now. that he was the only grandparent that i knew, but he was big enough for all them all. one day this week i was thinking about him on my morning walk and i can't really tell you a specific memory that i was recalling - just that i was thinking about who he was and what it felt like -to me- to have him in my life. maybe it is just that time is passing and all of this is part of loving and losing someone. the mourning was deep and hard felt. and there was peace, too. and now is the beginning of holding on to memories and carrying him along with me going forward. sharing him with lives that aren't quite here yet.

she asked why we need to be remembered, why it wasn't enough to just live your life for today and that is it. i don't think that remembering is the same as archived tweets, and she probably doesn't either. and while there is romance involved with not having details of the everyday lives of the ones/family that lived before us - i believe there is value in realizing that we are all essentially the same, regardless of the time we live in. i believe that we all strive to make the right decisions, to feel passionate about the things that we do, to want to love and to be loved. i believe that we all have been frustrated or fearful or sceptical of new technologies and how they will affect our values and our way of life .... swearing that the younger generation is possibly too careless or foolish to embrace such changes. whether it was TV for my grandfather or facebook/twitter or who-knows-what-it-will-be when we are grandparents ---

that is why it is important to remember. that is why i find comfort in knowing my lineage.... because in the end it explains who i am just a little bit more and it will ultimately explain who my children and their children and their children will become. (that is, if the world doesn't end before that!) :-)

warped...

2010-04-08T19:56:00.000-07:00

i had to go out and buy a whole new package of printable labels today, because i cannot for the life of me find the package that i just opened about a month ago. i needed them - TODAY and i'd been looking last night and this morning with no results -- so i broke down and bought another package. they worked. they were great. i know where this new package is.

in the process of looking, i stepped into the back storage room, where we have a bunch of labled boxes of things that we want to keep. we're actually quite organized in that part of the basement. so, i randomly pulled down the box labled journals/books. i found some old-school journals that Will and i made back in 96/97 out of old books. one of them had the stamp ByTheStraight -- we came up with that because in a weird sort of not-really way, that is what my maiden name means. i should make a note to myself right now, that i don't ever need to buy a new journal again, because i have several half-filled or barely started books just sitting over there in that box --sitting next to some others that are filled from front to back. i read through some. man.

do you ever read things that you wrote years ago? some of my poems weren't so bad, and some of my thoughts were reassuring now that i'm almost 33 -- but a lot of the other stuff seems so silly and quite-frankly --> girly. about boys.

i used to have the type of mind that took a snapshot and remembered every detail. conversations, details....a clear timeline and recollection of events in my life. reading the details, brought me back to myself back then...but it is becoming more clear to me that i am forgetting a lot of things that have happened in my life - not just the details, but the basic fact that they happened. it makes sense that there isn't enough room to hold onto them, or that parts of what happened then is just rolled into the history of a friendship...but the part that strikes me is how time can change the emotions of relationships. and how relationships can emotionally change time.

things i noticed

2010-03-03T08:15:00.000-08:00

today as i was drying my hair & looking in the mirror:

1) the sun turns my hair a reddish tone
2) the roots of my hair haven't seen the sun in a while
3) i have some new WHITE hairs where my part meets my forehead
4) maybe my wish for a full head of white hair (instead of grey) will come true someday

the balance of grey

2010-03-02T08:53:00.000-08:00

...I would like to beg you dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.

-Rainer Maria Rilke, 1903 in Letters to a Young Poet

i hadn't understood (you might not either)

2010-02-24T07:46:00.001-08:00

that was something i didn't expect. not sure what i expected...maybe more of a sassy affair given that people say they're going to do things like that, but then never do. i guess, in some ways, i had no expectations - and that could sound insensitive, but i think it stems from the fact that i really didn't know what we were saying goodbye to. i hadn't seen it, witnessed it, lived through it with my friend. i simply didn't know ... what to expect. and i didn't expect to feel so intensely what i felt. even now, the morning after, as i select my words to write, the back of my eyes burn and my throat is sore from holding back tears. because last night my eyes were opened and i saw a side of her that i hadn't seen, that i hadn't thought was there. i don't know how i didn't realize that it was, but her words and the words of that second poem unlocked the screen that had been hiding it from me....by triggering memories in me that have long been dormant. from a time that i have long since moved on from, healed and learned from. i've healed from the hard things but she reminded me of the love that i'd forgotten by removing it from memories that i could not trust. time changes things. the more things happen, the more the past can adjust to suit your current understanding of your world. i recognize that it has to in order for us to survive and to grow and keep moving forward. that poem brought me back to my heart as it was 13 years ago, still naive to what the future held -- mixing with the events that unfolded. mine is not hers. hers is her own. i did not see it. i did not know it. but for the first time i could relate -- and i just hadn't even thought................. and it hit me hard. and i think it will continue to resonate - at least until the smell leaves my furry hood.

with so much love and admiration, i watched her ceremoniously step forward. we all did.

and then.......

2010-02-20T06:50:00.000-08:00

and then there are days when nothing can affect you. the sun is literally shining into your very own heart. the pace of life is perfect, you can handle anything and it all makes sense - you see the connections to the past and the furture in your present moment. you can feel the buzz of potential, and you allow your hopes to take flight because success is not based on outcome, but on the fact that you dared to dream it, to go for it .... you dared to imagine it as reality. the people you love, love you too. your body is strong and just how it should be. you see yourself for who you are and it all makes sense. it all works ... harmoniously. and all of this brings a smile to your face and you can exhale. stop holding your breath.....

these days happen, too. without them how would any of us stay sane?

do you ever ...

2010-02-15T17:38:00.000-08:00

...have depressing moments, when all you want to do is close your eyes? and you know that they will pass, because they have to ... but it feels like it will take an eternity. and nothing specific really happened or didn't happen, but it all just makes you tired. and your chest kind of sinks way down into the pit of your stomach. and you recognize that this is totally not the norm and and so much good is happening all around you and there is much to be thankful for. you recognize all of this. but still feel down. and it reminds me of one of silo's dr. seuss books about the many colorful days of being me.... and that allows me to make the connection - that somedays i just wish i was a kid again, with no responsibility. and i'm happy it is almost bed time because tomorrow will be a better day and undoubtedly this will all be behind me.

it is all about the proces

2010-02-08T17:34:00.000-08:00

right now, at this very moment, i see that pretty much every aspect of my life can be boiled down to a process....the design process, the learning process, the process of doing laundry, of teaching, of growing, of building a business, or nurturing myself and my family and nuturing each day. they say it is about the journey, not the destination. the means not the result. the longer i work from home, the more i see the effort and commitment that it takes to make things connect. when i worked at that big box, i had to be there 5 days a week from this time to that time and regardless of whether i had all the elements in place to be productive, i at least had to try, because i was there and they were paying me to be there. now, the line between my life and my work is so blurred that i seem to be doing both all the time, or neither of them ever. i am still accomplishing what i need to and i could argue that i'm accomplishing more than i could have imagined possible. the process is different - or at least it looks different from surface. i don't punch in. i don't always even get out of my pajamas ... i don't leave home to go to an office. but i still have an agenda with myself. my supervisor is in the back of my head and she's nagging as all get out. i take work home with me and talk about my family at work. perhaps it all is still ultimately the same when it comes down to ME.

silo will go to kindergarten in the fall, and he will have a regular schedule and i can imagine that my life and work schedule will shift. it will be like getting a time clock to punch in and out of....i've always maintained that change is good and i suppose i'll welcome that change, too, when it comes...

words cannot express

2009-11-26T08:02:00.001-08:00

the love and sorrow that i am simultaneously overwhelmed with ...

melancholy tuesday

2009-11-03T18:50:00.000-08:00

sometimes i try not to be disappointed.
i know that sometimes my expectations are too high.
the universe does not revolve around me.

the rain gets under my skin.
being sick makes me feel isolated...
but if a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it
does it even make a sound?

the summer is gone
and the pressure is building.
i should be looking inward
not the other way around.
something seems to be missing.
dropped or let-go.

maybe it is just hormones.
or maybe it the season.

it's not nearly as dark as in finland right now.
but i still can't help feeling down.

i think it is time for bed.

2009-10-30T11:21:00.000-07:00

just focus

on the most important things.

period.

2 things i know forsure

2009-10-13T14:58:00.000-07:00

1) i need 8 hours of sleep. no more, no less. eight. i need to go to bed 8 hours prior to the time i want to wake-up.
2) i need 1 hour to move my body outside. rain or shine. winter or summer. preferably in the morning.

focus on the whole

2009-10-05T15:55:00.000-07:00

the thought occurred to me. perhaps there is a reason i have such a hard time finding balance? perhaps i am not a balanced person - or at least not a person inclined to balance. yesteday a bunch of people ran a marathon - the same one i ran last year. today i went for a 3 mile walk in the rain and it was the most activity i've had in while. i am in awe at how drastically my body changes with the change of my focus. i have put as much time this year into my craft & my business as i put last year into training. perhaps i am just at a critical point in my career and it requires this much sacrifice. but i have made lists...... every year around the same time (usually new years) and the list includes the elements of my life that i need to put in balance. each year the list is the same. i'm starting to think i need to either cut something off the list - OR - quit thinking of them as separate things. if i instead focus on the common elements that connect them together, maybe it will be easier to feel less scattered and more whole? the whole is often more than the sum of its parts. this is why it is important to exercise - it clears my head and allows me to think differently, see clearly and become more creative. two separate items on that list just got a little closer.

apparently....

2009-09-27T21:05:00.001-07:00

apparently balance requires more than simply saying things out loud. granted, i've been so busy. extra busy. more busy than usual. one thing after another they come at me. i suppose i'm the one committing to them, but i have to think of it as "going to work" - that room down in the basement is my office. i don't have a time-clock, but i need to punch-in if i'm going to make it. i have so many dates in my head, i've been doing things like watching twin cities live a week early, or sending birthday wishes to a friend a MONTH in advance..... at least i'm on the safe side ;) but seriously, i've got dates in my head. lotsa dates. sept 28th, 29th. oct 1st, 9th, 13th, 15th, 17th, 23rd, 26th, 30th. nov 6th, 12th, 14th, 18th -- and even then i'm probably forgetting something.

i think it is simply time for me to go to bed before midnight for once... here i go.

balance

2009-09-19T14:43:00.001-07:00

everything is the same. it all takes committment and time and energy and focus. relationships, mothering, work, creativity, skill, physical fitness, health, nutrition. nothing is really easy - maybe love, but even that gets complicated by all the other stuff.

i went biking today with my little sister. i went running yesterday. i walked the day before that. i am out of shape, and i knew that. i also know that it won't take much to get back on track if just move forward. i am moving my body instead of just my moving my brain - or my business. it all has to happen all the time. simultaneously. harmoneously - balanced. how can i do that? how am i going to do that? i've been able to do so much for my business this summer because i've negelected certain other things. and it's not like i need to train for a marathon - i get that. but i do need to find balance. i need to write my recipe with the right quantities. i know that. i've always known that. i'm just hoping it will help to say it outloud. to the 3 of you who sometimes read this.

to be or not to be

2009-08-16T21:42:00.000-07:00

my life has been so full this summer. i can't even begin to scratch the surface let alone express the depth of the growth that i have been feeling within my self. so often i associate a change of place or scenario with a resulted happiness or increased contentment. at least i have in the past in my life. but lately i see that happiness can be a simple choice within me - like deciding to do something. or not. he said,"it's a lot easier to not do it." and that certainly can be true with anything. isn't it easier to stay in bed at 6am than awake to move my body? isn't it easier to keep working to get just one more thing done than to shut my mind off in order to be present for other things each day? isn't it easier to continually put things off until they are "perfect" than to take a leap and put it out there now? - because nothing will ever be perfect even if i wait. it is easy to stall. to wait. to stay. to not bother. except that ... it also is simple to act - once the first step it taken. it can be as easy as going and accepting and inviting and being open and doing it. even better, when you take part other things happen. like the amazing sound of voices in microphones floating in humid night air with the crickets laying a bed of back-up noise. a body of work can be formulated and represented and transformed through a joint vision that was defined as we went along. and friendships can sprout from seeds that were planted just months ago as easily as those planted years ago and they can grow simultaneously if they are watered and tended to like the vegetables in my garden. and quite honestly my perspective on life can change with the culmination of all of these things. my struggles are not eliminated, my problems are not solved - but my outlook is uplifted and sometimes that makes all the difference in the world.

a feeling to remember

2009-08-02T20:46:00.001-07:00

i had been curious. who might have read it. didn't think anyone would. but at least some one did. and that one makes me smile. a lot has made me smile these days. i haven't felt this way in a very long time when it comes to these things. i was there with them. and they were with me. and i haven't felt that way in a very long time. perhaps since i was a girl. and it all makes me think that i just might be able to accept myself more. put it out into the world and it will find its way. one at a time that is holding true. i should have had 32 candles, which is a lot of options for wishes. i don't need that many if the ones i do need come true. and it's not like i've just sat on my butt waiting for it come to me, either. i've stepped-up. i've taken part. i've become present and i just might think that the other presents can hold my hand as i find my way through this one. i felt so full pulling away that day. felt full the entire drive home with the music of her old friend playing. i didn't make a sound the entire way - until i got off the highway and then i sang with it. about singing and it felt good. and i tried to tell him. how full my heart felt. and i couldn't find the words. but the wetness of my eyes and the waves of my mouth told him anyway. and he put his hand on mine and i knew my life was changing before my eyes. infact, it had been all along. and i've never felt so happy to be girl.

stream.....

2009-07-18T21:07:00.000-07:00

i miss having a venue to just vent sometimes... vent. unleash. speak freely without worrying about image or identity or building a following or keeping up or sounding good. times are stressful these days - leading to oversleeping and near depression. refocusing of priorities - but does that mean that dreams need to refocus, too? dreams, really? if it is your dream, fight for it. stay up, work the magic. do what you do, and do it so well that people can't take their eyes off of you. if it is what you were meant to do, you will find a way to do it... you'll have to try real hard to fail at it. fear of success is not the same as trying to fail, despite the fact that the outcome may be similar. just keep moving forward. that's what he said. keep moving forward. i'm taking advice from an animated disney film. sometimes messages find you when you need them. like the horoscopes in the star tribune. i swear, someone i know is just picking on me week after week. but i will also say that the sun has started to shine again. something has clicked inside and i feel lighter and more positive, more hopeful. could it be that i'm actually doing what i've set out to do? because i am. things fall into place when you plan for them. not every detail needs to be prepared for, but when you plan for the bigs ones (and ask for help) the little details work themselves out. maybe the biggest lesson i've learned in this project is to ask for help. i put the idea outthere, shared it with people i trust and they are helping me do things that i couldn't have done without them. that is the difference, right now. that is the difference. i've shifted the load, shared the weight and have allowed their expertise to factor in... that is what has made this happen and is what will make it great .... my trust in them is what will make the difference this time... and that is a huge, big, grown-up lesson. this energy needs to spread to the other factors of my life and when it does, i think the sun will shine in my whole backyard.

blog update ... and directive

2008-12-21T17:59:00.000-08:00

life is too crazy right now to be maintaining more than 1 other blog besides silos .... so, until further notice please follow along here thank you!!!

not usually a fan of alec baldwin

2008-10-15T08:56:00.000-07:00

but this perspective gets a big THUMBS UP!

-----------------------------------------------

WHAT AN OBAMA PRESIDENCY WOULD MEAN
by Alec Baldwin -- from Huffingtonpost

A friend of mine just returned from a trip to Michigan. She reported to me that, in the Lansing area, McCain signs abounded. Michigan has a Democratic Governor, Jennifer Granholm. The City of Lansing has a Democratic mayor, Virg Bernero. But McCain's campaign apparently looms large in the city of the Oldsmobile brand.
I try, at times, to empathize with Republicans. At least the rank and file ones that I believe have been sidelined by the Bush crowd and that family's nearly Shakespearean obsession with power at any cost. Not to mention the damage done to that party by the creationists, who will hopefully stay home on election night, having never been too cozy with McCain. I wonder if real Republicans see where they went wrong. That was in not choosing John McCain back in 2000.
John McCain's time has come and gone. The noble soldier who, at some intermittent points in his career, actually was a maverick, had to sit back and stare, dumbfounded, as his party chose Bush over him. Bush, the know-nothing, do-nothing, back-slapping frat boy: in. McCain, the great war hero and US Senator: out.
Maybe McCain believed, as Hillary Clinton perhaps believes about her own recent race, that his primary opponent would lose the general election, setting up a run in only four years. In fact, Bush did lose to Gore and the Supreme Court decision that selected Bush as President cost McCain his chance to run in 2004. Bush's eight years in office have been a national (and international) nightmare. They have also been the passing of John McCain's last useful years as a presidential candidate. Although many leaders in the Republican party believe that the GOP can run anyone for office and their supporters will fall in line, whether they are qualified or not (look at the California governorship), many Republicans I know believe McCain is done. And Palin didn't help. Palin is a charming and facile woman. But she was a devastatingly poor choice for VP. She will probably cost the GOP the election.
Add to the list of things destroyed by the Bush family the presidential hopes and dreams of John McCain.
On another note, another friend turned to me recently and said, "If Obama is elected, we will have witnessed something truly great in our lifetime." I agree. We will also witness, I would argue, the death of the civil rights movement as we have understood it these past sixty years. The last, great obstacle to meaningful racial equality in America will vanish, and with it, the yoke, real and perceived, of the limitations of the black experience in our country.
Many things are changing in our society today, even dying. With Obama, we not only accept that change, we seek to turn it into a positive.

"don't vote" ... weeelll

2008-10-08T19:50:00.000-07:00

2008-09-04T21:39:00.001-07:00

this is a great response to guliani and palin's mocking of community organizing

in minnesota

2008-09-04T13:27:00.000-07:00

my friend teemu (from finland) has started his studies a the university of minnesota. he spent his first 3 weeks going through a series of orientations. he was told that it is important to avoid talking politics with minnesotans (americans in general?)

avoid talking politics. isn't that kind of funny???

i thought it seemed a little funny. i mean, i understand that politics bring out some pretty strong feelings in people and after writing the previous post, i had to ask my husband if i should remove it because i might offend someone ... being a minnesotan, i don't want to offend anyone, but i also can't help but speak my mind, as an american. that is why we live here, right? because we are free to believe and live freely? and part of that freedom allows me my opinions and allows me my lifestyle and my choices. it also allows you yours.

so, if i offend, i appologize and welcome you to please share your own opinions...

why is it???

2008-09-04T11:00:00.001-07:00

that if a person wanted to watch the Democratic National Convention we had to watch the local public telelvision station .... even Barack Obama's unprecidented democratic Presidential nomination acceptance speach in front of 75,000 people was only broadcast on tpt2? cbs, abc and nbc showed other programming, most likely reruns........but why is it that last night those same network stations (including fox) showed sarah palin's speach at the republican national convention? it cannot simply be because the convention is here - it was NATIONAL coverage. we do not have cable - just basic (basic) telelvision service {i even added extra tin-foil on our antena's in order to get better reception for Obama's speach} ... but we could see the republican Vice Presidential nomination acceptance speech in VIVID reception on nbc last night -- i'm guessing tonight will be the same for mccain's speech.

i'm just talking access, here, people. does this frustrate anyone else??? {don't even get me started on TONE or content ... or lack of content......}

i tried to be open by listening to palin, to hear the republican perspective - and despite the level of frustration i felt from listening, and from realizing the biased media coverage -- i received an email from Obama's campaign manager (probably one of millions to receive it) giving a response to the mocking and cynicism and negativity ... and sarcasm. and it made me smile to think about the ease with which it is to communicate to people these days, and how well Obama's campaign is utilizing it. it made me smile to be reminded of the positive perspective to making change in this country. because it sure is easy to be influenced by the negativity of the republican's approach. i tried to hear some remnants of ideas or direction or a plan for improving the average person's everyday life, but their negative digs were just too overwhelming. they just sneak in and spread like cancer ... i was affected and i don't even buy into their claims or concepts. i think about those people that consume it like air .. and i can see how easy it is to stop thinking when you boil issues down to right and wrong. us and them. me or you. win or lose. do or don't. yes or no. it feels a bit like being a mob - and i can see how difficult it is for someone in the middle of it to really think for yourself or look at something objectively - or even be able to decifer fact from fiction. it is the kind of thing that keeps rumors alive. it doesn't matter if a statement is true.....and if truth doesn't matter, how can one have a discussion? a debate? ooooooooooooo i started. so i'm stopping.

this is going to be a tough fight, i am afraid. but i remain hopeful......... i must.

so, i remind myself of the signs of hope and change:

memories

2008-08-20T12:23:00.000-07:00

back in 2004, when i was working for IKEA i would listen to "mus-sak" every day (direct-feed sort of radio-music) the first several months working in minneapolis (after returning from 2 months of training at other stores in US and Canada) was spent literally "building-up" the store. i have vivid memories of traveling through the twin cities IKEA store before any of the walls were put up, before all of the racking, before the restaurant was a restaurant ... before the building became the store. it was a pretty cool experience, to say that least. -- i have often marveled in my life, how certain senses are connected to one memory. {for example, i can still hear the sound of my host sisters socks sliding across the wood floor in my host-family's house in Finland 13 years ago.} one such sense that brings me back to those days at IKEA is this song {youtube wouldn't let me embed it, so you'll have to take the link over there to view the video} i would say that i heard this song 2 times a day on average -- for a solid month and then once a day for close to a year. {now, to give some perspective, a group of us {initiated by tim} started to place bets every morning on the times that celiene dion's "i drove all night" would play. it averaged 3 times in an 8 hour period!!! no kidding!} the thing about the a-fore-mentioned song is that i never knew who sang it, and no one else that i asked ever knew either. so for the past 4+ years, this song has been embedded in my mind with a huge sense of "mystery" ...well, today i decided to kill the mystery by doing a google search for "this is the start of something good" and "follow through" both led me to gavin degraw. wow. it's still pretty good to listen to....

wow!

2008-08-08T15:36:00.000-07:00

this one made my chest swell and my eyes well
and it made me say ... W O W
she is so right..............

http://www.dooce.com/2008/08/08/four-years

behind the growth.....

2008-08-04T20:24:00.000-07:00

i have been meaning to post pictures of our beautiful growing garden all summer. and now that the tomatoes are turning red i'll try to play catch-up on all the posts i never made ....

first it would have been of the lettuce starting to fill the long plot that souliyahn dug out this spring to expand the garden. to give you an idea of how behind i am - we've been cutting the lettuce at the base of their roots {instead of pulling them out completely} and they're on their third re-growth already!

we picked the arugula out at its roots and so it did not grow back in the same way. we haven't had this lush field of arugula since early june.

second it would have been the green onions that shot right up {in may? june?} only we didn't pick them when they were thin and fresh and now we have big white onions popping out of the soil. this time around i think the trade off {of the fresh green onion tops for the flavorful onion bulb} was well worth it!

third we would have followed the progress of our basil and thai-basil {yes, two varieties in this household with a pho-eating papa} which are both so much bigger and fuller than the early pictures. i love watering these two pots in particular, because once the water settles you can smell their fragrance in the air. --- our rosemary is still super healthy and actually flowered early this summer, which is not common apparently?? {and is the same plant from last year, if you can believe it!?! it is all souliyahn, really.} and our lemon grass is also from last year's roots. just this week souliyahn picked his first hot peppers {plants courtesy of his mother's garden} and ate them straight-up with a little dip in fish sauce. "these guys are getting hot" he said to me between hiccups! {that is a sure sign that they are HOT...they took his breath away!} ...

and finally i would have been able to share our saddness when our snap pea plants started to die. :( they were amazing to watch because their little tenticles would reach out and grab on to the supports that we put in the pot as well as grasp onto eachother in order to build a strong structural support for the weight of the pea pods that was to come. well, we got a couple hand-fulls of peas {and boy were they tasty!!!} but our structure wasn't high enough to allow the plan to keep climbing and it slowly started to turn yellow. we learned for next year, though.

i'm married to an urban farmer. i'm so lucky!

not since june 19th....

2008-07-21T16:27:00.000-07:00

it has been a while. i've been thinking, since the addition of another blog to my list of ways to express my thoughts and opinions, that i have too many blogs. a jewelry maker that i met in baltimore just recently declared on her {jewelry} blog that she was a real person and so she has eliminated all other blogs {what a relief it was for me to see that she, too, had had multiple blogs} and is now writing about her running and biking and vacations and things all on the same blog. and then there is sally in portland who blogs about her 2 boys along side the clothes she wears and the food she makes and the paper-goods she designs and sells.

i've been going back and forth in my head about eliminating a blog or two. i won't eliminate silo's blog because that is a direct way for my family to see him grow between visits .. and lately a way for he and his cousin, lussi, to send little video messages to eachother!

i brought the idea up to souliyah about cutting the silvercocon blog and just having my jewelry blog, but he liked the idea of showing his projects in progress and so, i'll keep that one, too, for the time being. that leaves this here, tizzylish blog... i like the idea of including more personal posts on my jewelry blog, but it begs the question ... could i really blog freely - like a mother?

.... could i really talk about the fact that my son is now potty trained. that it was the treat-incentives that clinched the deal? that (by waiting until he was ready) it took him less than 2 days to stop peeing in a diaper because i gave him such things as ANNIE'S Honey Bunny Grahams or those peppermint drop hard candies. that it took a little bit longer with the number 2 and i had to clean his poop-filled little underwear in the toilet before throwing them in the washing machine; or that he actually held it in for 3 days (despite having accomplished it before) because he was afraid of the sensation of NOT having it smush back up on his butt. or that after all this, it really was only about a week before he totally got the hang of it and this time when i pack his suitcase for our trip to duluth, i don't need to take a bag FULL of diapers and i feel like jumping for joy about it!?!?! could i really blog about this somewhere else? i mean, these are things that mothers talk about. perhaps i am being a little graphic, but these are things that mothers SHOULD be talking about so that they don't feel so alone or lost in the woods with the firsts of their child. it is important to get these things out {to "everyone"...well, not so sure} but i just can't imagine asking people who might be interested in buying my jewelry to read about my mother-hood adventures. well, at least not ALL of them!

blaag

2008-06-19T20:18:00.000-07:00

As if I don't already have too many blogs to keep track of, I am now participating in a new, shared blog entitled THIRTEEN YEARS LATER. Below is a copy of my first post and hopefully it will be self-explanitory. I will put a link in the list to the right for those of you interested in following our adventure...it promises to be interesting.

--------

we’re attempting to create a blog {blaag} that is shared by two households -{one in minnesota/usa and the other in finland}- that will become one household for the span of an academic year. how exciting.

i am tia. i live in minneapolis, minnesota with my husband, souliyahn, of 8 years and my nearly-3 year old son, silo. i was born and raised in northern minnesota {the iron range till the age of 12 and duluth till adult-hood.} and grew-up considering myself “finnish” because of the 100% finnish heritage on both sides of my family. from 1995-1996 when i was 17 years old, i traveled to oulu, finland as an exchange student and quickly understood that i was finnish-AMERICAN. that year was one of the most influential years of my life. i gained immense perspective and my love for finland became grounded in my everyday experiences and newfound understanding of rituals i had grown-up with. this is where i met, first, teemu palokangas and then tiina parantala. {actually, i met tiina while on a school trip to holland. finnish students and me, posing as a finnish student.} teemu reached out to me early on, because he knew what it was like to be an exchange student. i still remember eating lunch with him in the back room of the cafeteria and how relieved and hopeful i felt. tiina’s friendship saved me that year. she welcomed me into her life and so warmly opened her heart, despite the fact that i would be leaving at the end of the year and in a country where friendship is not taken into lightly. she is responsible for a good part of the richness in my life there and in many ways set a standard for me when it comes to friends. i cannot imagine my life having not met her. partway through my exchange year, i introduced my two favorite friends to eachother … set-them-up, if you will. {match-maker, match-maker, give me a match!} well, they were married in 2003 and i could not have been happier and now they have a 4 year old son, eeli.

so, over the past 13 years, our friendship has been maintained and nourished with 4 different trips across the atlantic {2 each way} and we have grown-up to be adults with houses and jobs and families. we are about to embark on one of the “most daring” projects of our lives … to co-habit our rambler home in minneapolis from august 2008 - may 2009 while teemu studies at the U of MN under his fullbright scholarship. it is exciting and potentially complicated in the way that life is sometimes, but souliyahn and i embrace the opportunity like we embrace life. life is full and dynamic and not always what you’d expect … but that’s what makes it good and inspiring and rich.

we are not in the position to be able pick-up our family and live abroad for a year, although it is something that souliyahn and i both secretly dream about. i like to look at this year as our own little “year abroad” despite the fact that we will be living in our own house. life will be different and i just can’t wait to discover the ways. so, some of my own goals for this blog are 1) to start: dig out a picture of teemu, tiina and i from 13 years ago…as a reference point 2) document the preparations and rearrangement of our house before the family palokangas arrives 3) have an outlet for expressing and sharing our lessons during our “year abroad” - we could call it the “american perspective.”

teemu and i have also registered for the twin cities marathon - that is run in october. it is one of the best ways to see this great city and i encouraged him to consider it. well, i am easily encouraged myself, so i signed up, too. training is proving different than both of us have experienced in the past {is it really because we’re in our 30s — really??} and we’re hoping that this blog will help keep us both on track with our own and eachother’s progress.

so: i suppose i should mention my run today:
TUESDAY 17 june 2008: 6:34am-7:23am {49 min} trail run in quaking bog - 2 loops on ski trails. the mosquitos were out in full force this morning. couldn’t stop to stretch or adjust shoe laces at all - ouch! took an easy, relaxed pace and just enjoyed running. my left achilles region was a bit tight afterwards — because of the hills. — have been diligent about eating well today. we have lots of fresh lettuce in the garden that needs to be eaten!

…..i’d say the blaag has started…

found this on martha's site ...

2008-06-18T20:56:00.001-07:00

thank you martha! you can find out more at http://www.girleffect.org/

'that's all i know"

2008-06-08T20:11:00.000-07:00

my little brother, kai, who lives in brooklyn and works in manhatten made it onto FOX New York news - talking about a manhole fire that disrupted subway traffic. you can see the main page {here} click the video to watch the story.

the obama rally ....

2008-06-04T21:48:00.000-07:00

you can read about it {here}

finnish food 03&04: karjalanpiiraka=karelian {rice} pie & munavoi=egg butter

2008-05-20T20:31:00.000-07:00

"on a finnish food kick?" you might ask? well, it appears that i am! on monday i went out on a limb and decided to try making karjalanpiiraka. i don't recall anyone i know making these, but that doesn't mean i didn't eat my fair share of them when i lived in finland or when i've been back to visit.

as with most places, there are certain foods that are signature finnish foods: some that are special occasion foods (like the doughnuts) and others that are staples (like the karjalanpiiraka.) you can buy bags of these pies frozen in the grocery stores - or unfrozen bags of them (like a loaf of bread) - or individual pies fresh in the bakery section. hands down, the bakery section pies are the very best. they often have a couple varieties: some with more rye in the dough or more wheat in the dough, and some filled with mashed potato instead of rice porridge (although the rice is the most traditional.) we would always have them for breakfast. again like bread, we toasted them up to heat the rice and to make the crust kind of crunchy, and then top them with cheese or cold-cuts (although the munavoi=egg butter spread is also the most traditional topping) and of course ... cucumber!

i haven't done any reasearch to back this next statement up, but i believe they got their name because women in the old karelian region of finland made these pies for their husbands when they were fighting the war against russia. for all i really know, they could go back even further than that ... but i do know they make for nice protable snack that will keep you feeling full for a long time!

anyway, i've always heard that they are really hard to make, but i figured since we'd successfully made the doughnuts on friday, i might as well make an attempt on the rice pies. i would have to say that they really are not that difficult - just a little intricate in terms of getting the dough the right consistency and then rolling out, filling and pinching the sides just right. i'd make a few tweaks next time, but in the end they were really tasty (particularly with the mushroom-soup leftovers) .. not yet finnish-bakery-worthy .. but certainly minnesota-kitchen-worthy!

finnish food 02: sienikeito=mushroom soup

2008-05-20T20:23:00.001-07:00

i made this soup for a light sunday evening dinner. it was perfectly light and tasty for a lovely spring day of relaxing with my boys. it was very easy to make (especially because i have deci-liter measuring cups sent to me from tiina in finland many years back. it really helps to not have to be converting quanities!) i don't think i added enough mushrooms as mine looks less chunky than the picture. next time, i will probably add different kinds of mushrooms, too. i just used white mushrooms from the farmers market this time.....

suomalainen munkki......the finnish doughnut

2008-05-16T20:48:00.000-07:00

ok...me and the munkki go way back...like, 13 years. back to when i was 18 and an exchange student in oulu, finland. it is tradition to make these doughnuts for VAPPU - the 1st of May-(one of the biggest celebrations in finland.) i took part in making them then - which, really meant i took part in eating them - because i don't remember a thing about making the dough or frying them....or even rolling them in the sugar, really. my lovely host-mother had a way of taking care of those sorts of things so that i was able to take away the most exciting part of the experience (i sure do miss her!) my memory is of "sugar-lips" i will (one day) go and dig out the picture of me eating that munkki with my sugar lips. YUM.

my second encounter with the munkki was a few years back when souliyahn and i went back for the wedding of my dearest finnish friends (to eachother). tiina and teemu were living in tampere and we spent a couple weeks with them after their wedding (great honey-moon for them, huh?!) one of the places they took us was to the top of a look-out tower in tampere and in their coffee shop they served the most amazing munkki - with cardamom! now, seriously - you CANNOT beat a doughnut with cardamom in it .. i am telling you this as fact.

well, my older brother married a woman from finland this past february and they had been to finland the previous december and i kept hearing about mimmu's mother's doughnuts. she came to minnesota for the wedding and even made some while she was here - but i DID NOT GET ANY! ........ well, mimmu is staying with us tonight and when i heard she was going to be coming, i thought we should try to make some munkki - since, technically, i haven't ever really done it and i assumed she had. she got the recipe from her mom over her lunch break and i made the dough before she got here this evening and we fried them up tonight. there is cardamom in the dough, but i also added some to the sugar that you dip them in after they come out of the oil. this was the first time either of us has made them and we both agree .... they are EXCELLENT!! hyva hyva tyttot!

this {right here} just made my day!

2008-05-12T14:22:00.000-07:00

4-year-old South Korean Beatles' fan Ha Youngwoong sings his way into the hearts of millions around the world with his Internet renditions of his favourite band's hits.

she's got it : the motherly glow

2008-05-05T18:47:00.000-07:00

the family weizel came for their first family visit on sunday. sure was fun to see them out and about in their car - with their baby car seat and diaper bag. it was also fun to be able to feed them dinner after their first full day of errand-running. the three of them seem to be adjusting extraordinarily well to their new set-up.....

2008-04-29T20:49:00.000-07:00

i am so proud of my dear megan who delivered a beautiful daughter last night ... and celebrated her first day of being a mother today. anyone who has gone through pregnancy knows that motherhood starts before you actually meet the little one that has been growing inside of you - but you also know the importance of that first day of seeing your child, watching their every move - absorbing their person. those first impressions of personality and temperament have proven to carry through day after day, month after month ... and now even year after year. ~~~my new sister in law recently asked me what silo was like as a baby, because he was already a toddler when she first met him. i thought a moment and then told her that he was the way that he is~~~ meg and jeremy's little girl is in essence who she will become ... she takes my breath away ... and it is easy for me to see already that her essence was made from the two of them .... what was two has become three ... a family

thirty-one

2008-04-24T15:11:00.000-07:00

well, after all the build-up to my thirtieth birthday last year - this year's 31st birthday was pretty low-key. (i mean, how can 31 be anything but low-key??) on sunday afternoon, souliyahn made-up a batch of home-made burgers and cooked them on the grill. it was a beautiful evening to eat dinner outside. it finally feels like we could count on more spring and summer-like weather ... which is a great birthday present itself! among other things (like opening some presents and getting to show-off phon & shawn's kitchen, and eating ice cream...) - it was fun getting a picture of meg eating a burger - when i met her 13 years ago, she was vegan! it's taken a long time, but now i can say - eat the meat, baby!!!

our birch tree ... for the birds

2008-04-10T07:15:00.000-07:00

on tuesday evening, we had the birch tree in our front yard cut down.

a major branch had been cut off a couple years ago because it was dead and rotten inside. the rest of the tree was slowly following suit with major parts of the trunk being pecked-away by wood peckers. we have plans to replace this tree with new ones as part of a small front patio project we hope to complete this year. as sad as we were to cut the birch down, we realized the importance of doing it early, before the birds nested in it for the summer. we missed the window by a couple days (thus the sudden need to move ahead) as there was bird activity on sunday and monday.

{on a side note: mr. weizel just happened to call yesterday to see if we wanted any extra firewood {thankyou} from the tree that fell in their yard last fall. how ironic! we're trying to figure out where we could store it, now that we have this huge pile......}

we have attempted to save the 'nested' part of the tree for the birds ... and have a new "bird house" hanging from our eave. not sure if it will work, but it is an attempt........

who are these people?!?

2008-04-02T22:34:00.000-07:00

i've been going through some back-up cd's looking for pictures from a specific event ... and happened upon this picture of me and souliyahn from several years ago..... we look a lot less stressed .....

can legs dream???

2008-03-27T14:01:00.000-07:00

while i was out for a run this morning, my mind was all a-buzz. mostly thinking about the fact that it kind of sucks to run when you have your period....how my legs felt like lead yesterday and didn't feel much better today...thinking how sometimes it feels like your whole body is just being dragged along like a sack of rice and if it wasn't for your arms pumping away you might just stop all together....as i decided that i should blog about this, it hit me - like a light-bulb going off or suddenly remembering a word that has been on the tip of your tongue .... i had a dream last night about running and i was telling these two men (in uniform...police officers??) about my running course (this is in my dream that i am telling them) and how some days after i finish running my loop, i go for a second round using my arms -- like running on my arms ... with my legs just floating behind me up in the air. i even remember the sensation of running this way ... on my arms. it was pretty amazing (in my dream) --- so i was thinking, as i really finished my run this morning, that my legs must have been dreaming for a day off!

more food i made

2008-03-24T21:06:00.000-07:00

well, it seems that this blog of mine is turning into a diary of the food i make. not really, but .... well, i will admit i've been cooking a lot more than normal these days. after going down to part-time with my dad (my job job) in order to be with silo more and to "follow my dreams" (ie: pursue my jewelry) - i've found that making food (versus purchasing food that is already made)(not that i/we would do this for every meal) not only saves money, but there are endless benefits - like the added nutrition of being able to select all of your ingredients, the phenomena called left-overs (the meal that keeps on giving) - and the pride that comes along with making beautiful food ---- like this quiche loraine that i made for EASTER brunch at my sister-in-laws house. i must tell you, it was absolutely beautiful in person .... perfectly puffed-up and pillow-y with a crisp, golden-brown top and not even the slightest sign of any burned parts! and, it tasted as good as it looked - if i do say so myself! .......... you can't beat the "quiche-pride"

cell phone camera clean-out

2008-03-17T19:52:00.000-07:00

i just spent over 20 minutes cleaning-out the photo-album in my cellphone. by cleaning-out, i mean downloading them onto the computer in order to make more room on my cell phone. the problem is that i tend to leave pictures in there for a really long time. i've decided to share some random ones that i just removed:
1) patterns in the sky at schiphol airport in amsterdam...breathtaking
2) on the train in finland with my not-yet-two year old boy
3) the sign in a finnish parking ramp that tells me there are 23 available parking spaces in this row
4) the sensors above each parking stall (in the finnish parking ramp) that allow the sign to know there are 23 parking spaces available in that row.
5) silo in a cardboard box.
6) the dress i didn't chose for my brother's wedding.

last night's dinner

2008-03-05T19:24:00.000-08:00

this is a poor cell-phone shot of the dinner i made last night. i literally whipped this up from scratch (no recipe - total improvising) and i got lucky with this one, because it was pretty tasty, if i do say so myself. the baked sweet potato fries could have been more crispy, but still had good flavor (betsy, if you have some tips to share on how to oven-fry them so that they aren't limp, i'd love to hear them!) -- i wanted to make some red-pepper mayo to dip them in, but didn't have a jar of roasted peppers - so instead i broiled some fresh red pepper and little bit of onion until the skin was able to be peeled off the peppers and then diced them all up, added some mayo and a random bit of seasoning (garlic powder, dijon mustard, laurie's seasoning salt, lime, salt, brown sugar....) until it tasted just right. the chicken breasts are dipped in egg, breaded and oven-baked - for the breading i crumbled the ends of a loaf of 100% whole grain bread, added some garlic salt and grated some aged gouda cheese into the mix - super simple and very very tasty!

2008-03-04T15:02:00.001-08:00

you're probably wondering what happened to me. thought perhaps i had fallen under a bus somewhere -- in some ways it felt like i did..... the rush that came before balitmore was tiring enough and then the 3 days of being "on stage" selling my wares put me over the edge (of course staying up till the wee hours of the morning talking with old friends and giggling in bed with my sister didn't help the sleep-deprivation much) but it was all worth it.

i've been trying to settle back into a normal rhythmn since last week - my tendencies amaze me still, despite the fact that i am almost 31 and should know myself better by now. after being so involved in thinking about making jewelry, my attention has shifted to making ... food. testing and experimenting.

on sunday morning in baltimore, tony and little kwabe made buckwheat pancakes for breakfast. i like (and try) to make healthy food with good ingrediants and often make silo pancakes from scratch for breakfast at home. but i've never made buckwheat pancakes. i was pleasantly surprised by their sweet, nutty flavor. tony & patricia like thick pancakes and i loved the ones they made for us (with almond butter, berries, baked apples, maple syrup and yogurt for toppings) - i was inspired and being a scandinavian-thin-pancake sort of girl, it got me thinking...............

back home in minneapolis, i went and bought the same whole-foods buckwheat pancake mix that they used and tested out making them thin ........ and boy were they good! silo ate 3 full pancakes (and in record time!) i even expanded my topping-options and i must tell you i may forever be changed! we may even start our own "sunday-morning-buckwheat-pancake" tradition.

THANK YOU tony, patricia & kwabe!!!

tonight's cooking experiment: sweet potato fries.....

my (humble) thoughts (per amanda's request)

2008-02-14T07:46:00.000-08:00

i've been listening to the obama-video at least once a day. the first time i watched it, my chest swelled - the words, the music, the message - it still makes my heart swell ... politics are tricky, and while most of the people close to me lean democratic (liberal) even among those friends we are split between obama and clinton -- even in my own head, i go back and forth about strengths and weeknesses of the two. 4 years ago, i wanted hillary to run so baddly. "how amazing would that be?!?" i thought. it is amazing still that she is running for president. it is also amazing that barack is running-- i realize that there is much that i don't know - about the issues, about the actual pressures that the president faces, about the "climate" of washington. i realize that there is always more to learn. but i also know that there is something happening in america that i haven't experienced when it comes to government and politics...(paul welstone was the closest thing i can think of in my lifetime.) there is something happening - and maybe it is simply that i am more invested and more interested because of my age and place in life. but, maybe it isn't just that, either? ---- what i do know is that for the first time i feel myself BELIEVING in a candidate -- not just that they are the better candidate, or the one who could beat the one i don't want.... but believing in their potential to move mountains - or at least change the approach we take to tackling the mountain. it has been a long time since i've felt positive about the potential for our country. it is has been a long time since i've allowed myself to hope for something more from our government. more for me, my family ... more for my son ... more for our childrens' future..... and while i know that our country is in desperate need of change that can be actualized, i am tired of the same prescribed political game ... can we approach change with a different prescription and still have it be actualized? i'd like to hope so.... "yes we can" "yes we can" positivity is a very powerful thing.... i'm feeling it and it makes my chest swell.

hmmmmm.....

2008-02-07T14:51:00.000-08:00

brain bubbles....

2008-01-25T21:36:00.000-08:00

my mind has been consumed with multi-tasking. trying to remember the right things at the right times and not forgetting to remember the things that come next. trying not to be solving a problem of the future in the present. making sure i fully absorb and share the wonderful growth-spurt in my son's language skills while also being diligent about my preparations for a HUGE show that i'm going to be in in just one month.

i know that women and mothers are the queens of mulitasking and i sometimes wonder if we've learned to multi-task or if we are made this way, because it will be required of us when we become mothers. (i suppose this is one thought i could afford to stop thinking about right now!)

some of things i can't stop thinking about:

-silo's latest phrases (used in normal conversation) - "oh, dat too bad, mommy" & "ok, i get it."

-reading the book THE BEAR SNORES ON -- "dat bear's cabe, right???"

-there are 25,000 people expected at the American Craft Council show -- yikes! how does one prepare for that with just over 2 months notice?!?

-need to find some tasteful boxes/packaging for jewelry that can easily be transported in a suitcase....

-can't remember the last time i went for a run

-really really want to go skiing tomorrow!

-i need to sleep more - so i don't get sick AGAIN

on the mend

2008-01-22T19:53:00.000-08:00

i feel as if i have been sick since christmas ... off and on. getting one bug, fighting it, feeling better, getting back into the normal routine only to get a different bug. i've been on my back on 3 separate days, with several days on either side ranging from miserable to nearly normal.

this weekend we had some of the coldest weather we've had this winter ... which made it easy to stay inside, making blueberry waffles from scratch in the morning and taking long afternoon naps and going to bed the same time as silo.

i've now had 2 better-than-nearly-normal days and truly believe that i am finally on the mend!

2008-01-08T18:51:00.000-08:00

i am fighting getting sick. my body is telling me to slow down/de-stress/SLEEP! i am listening. it is amazing how easy it is to take health for granted......

anniversary 8

2008-01-02T21:53:00.000-08:00

souliyahn and i just "celebrated" our 8th wedding anniversary. i use the quotations because our anniversary falls on the 27th of december and the day usually gets swallowed-up in all of the holiday festivities or else is somewhat ignored/not planned due to exhaustion from the a-fore-mentioned festivities. we were in duluth this year and were lucky enough to get out for a late-morning ski at korkki nordic and an early lunch at the new scenic cafe on the 28th - just the two of us - (silo stayed to play guitar & go sliding with grandma.) it was actually the second time we'd been to korkki over the holiday and the skiing was fantastic! hands-down THE best place to ski ("in the world" according to my world-class-skier-brothers) - you might be able to get a blurry-idea of the intimacy of the trails from this grainy cellphone picture. the thick snow blanketed the trees and there was nothing but silence, the sound of the skiis & poles on the snow and our lungs breathing the crisp air. the trail miraculously captures (creates?) the essence of skiing - with managable up-hills and smooth, rolling down-hills that make your stomach feel like you are driving a roller coaster, you can't help but feel like a kid in a magical forest; almost too good to be true -- it was so much fun and we had perfect 20 degree days! ---- lunch always tastes better after a ski: i had scott's signature creamy-tomato soup. souliyahn had the curry muscles and we shared a goat-cheese salad. it was a lovely few hours after a lovely 8 years -- granted, it it's not an extravagent weekend away or romantic night out ... but it was the perfect way to celebrate in this amazing year of SNOW........

2007-12-21T13:12:00.001-08:00

after a series of unexpected events (involving going to a barber-school (where souliyahn's brother is learning to be a barber) for a hair trim) i ended-up with a new haircut from a student at the AVEDA Institute! (........a long & humerous story that is best told in person...) all's well that ends well. i'm getting used to this new look.

a new tradition ...

2007-12-16T21:00:00.000-08:00

i invited my dear (pregnant) friend, meg, to come over on friday night to make some christmas cookies with silo and me. we had purchased a ginger-bread-man-cookie-cutter and he was super excited to make a "cookie-guy" -- meg and i decided we'd make a couple big-batches and split the "proceeds" for our respective family gatherings. we both ended-up with a tin of drop-sugar cookies and a tin of "peanut-butter kiss" cookies. (the cookie-guys didn't get made till saturday morning - but that didn't stop silo from wanting the "more cookie" all friday night!) we had so much fun, that we decided to do it again next year and make it our little tradition. it is exciting to think how the dynamics will change in the coming years with a new baby and growing children & families.......

friends & perspective

2007-12-09T20:02:00.000-08:00

one of my best college friends, john cary, and his wife, stephanie, were in town from san francisco this weekend for his brother's graduation. they came over for sunday brunch and we had a fantastic time catching-up. yes, i am friends with john cary - not presidential candidate, john kerry, but not too far off given all that he has accomplished - (and i don't even know all that he has accomplished.) he is the executive director of public architecture and cofounder of archvoices, is the youngest person to be recognized as a Senior Fellow of the Design Futures Council, and has recently been awarded the Rome Prize from the American Academy of Rome --- just a sampling of his many accolades.... i was counting back today and realized that we've known eachother 9 years ... and while we've taken very different paths and have very different strengths and abilities, we are both thriving in our own ways....and that is very exciting to me. perspective is always a wonderful thing and i love these little 'views' life gives us of the horizon to make us realize that we are moving foward and we are getting somewhere...

potty's and treats

2007-12-07T13:06:00.000-08:00

i'm so impressed with eliza's fixation with the potty...and the fact that tenzin is a regular potty-goer ... and the fact that amanda & matt have been training avery to pee in the potty all along. i know i blogged about silo going pee pee on his own - but there's really been no mention of it since then and no pee pee (except in diapers) to speak of either. i have learned from my son, through his tendencies at swimming lessons and learning how to walk, that i really must let him be. granted, he is a two year old who is independent, as he should be - but it goes beyond being two. he likes to do things on his own and when he is ready, he will be ready...almost like he is secretly investigating and gathering data and taking mental snap-shots of what it means to go potty. watches his parents, watches his cousin. reads about joshua and being a big boy -- but does not want to be pushed, pursuaded or convinced to do anything until he is ready. i have learned this from him - and i am letting him be.

i was also listening to MPR this morning for a few minutes on the way to swimming - they were talking about generational tendencies and about our children and how raising children has changed even from when we were kids. how money and rewards and incentives have changed perspectives and expectations and all other things that run deep and are hard to "detect" and explain in people when they grow-up -- they talked about money in our society and how it has created this idea of being deserving and how the act of being rewarded for mudane things has infected our society/the Y-generation ..... and while it would have been good to hear the entire segment, i've been thinking about this idea all day -- because when thinking about potty training i know a lot of parents who give rewards/incentives for making it into the pot. what does it say to children when they are rewarded/paid in treats for learning to control their bodily functions? can a high-five and affirmation of their accomplishment be enough?

another example: when we go to target and and he gets antsy, we pick out something little to buy for him (like a little panda bear that he ends-up carrying around with him for weeks and months afterwards) because he was being such a good boy. am i rewarding him for learning how to be appropriate in public? or am i just making the outing seem special? where is the line? how will these small things that i do or do not do affect him when he is in highschool, seeking an education, trying to get a job, developing his career, or growing a relationship with someone? how will he learn to place value on experiences and not just things? how will he learn to define VALUE in his life? am i helping him do that already? .... does it really matter how i potty train him?

of course it matters and on the same hand it also doesn't really ...... right? on a scale - in comparison - in the grand scheme of things - we all learn to pee in the toilet ..... these are simply-complex ideas that trigger so many emotions - particularly as a parent..... not "answers" really ...... just thoughts/ideas and more questions. --- and in some cases the answer is sort of out of my hands: because at this point, i've decided that i am going to let him potty-train himself .... on his own, in his own way ... i'll be there with him and i will be the first to high-five him when he's done it and i'll hopefully be the second proudest person in the room ... next to him.

ETSY shop - a new frontier!

2007-12-04T20:21:00.000-08:00

well... the walker show went well. (ended-up selling the most out of all 3 trunk shows, because of the snow storm that hit on saturday! - lucky lucky!) pretty cool to see my own creations in the walker jewelry case! it is even cooler that they are going to keep a small collection of pieces to carry through the holiday & possibly through valentine's day, depending on the response.

tonight i've been exploring another venue for selling my jewelry (trying NOT to compete too much with the Walker, since they are being so kind to me!) - but also to sell our modern tannenbaum and some new ornaments that i've designed to go with our tree and with any darn christmas tree that one might have in their home over the holiday! it seems i need to figure out how to create a following online. how does one do such a thing? martha has done it. her shop sells out within minutes (not kidding here, folks!) of her posting new items. i guess one step at a time, right? one step at a time.

mom/aunt/god-mother

2007-12-02T20:53:00.000-08:00

motherhood

2007-11-29T12:55:00.001-08:00

yesterday morning silo was running around the house naked before we took a morning shower. i was worried that he might pee on the carpet somewhere but apparently he didn't need to go. we finally made our way to the bathroom and i was a few paces behind his little running legs. he was ahead of me just enough so that by the time i got to the bathroom he was standing, looking at the floor saying "uh-ooooh" -- he had peed on the (tile) floor. we talked about it as we cleaned it up & how big boys go in the potty. he nodded his head - yes.

before this morning's shower, i left him naked in the bathroom while i looked for his little "frog" toy (actually a lizard) so that it could come in the shower with us ... and when i came back to the bathroom (less that a minute) he was standing over his potty looking at his yellow peepee neatly contained inside it. stunned, i said, "wow! did you go in the potty like a big boy, silo?!?" he nodded his head proudly, yes.

with all the exciting things i'm involved with right now - jewelry trunk show, our modern christmas trees being purchased and sent to places like san fransicso, the designing & making of tree ornaments, my dad's project winning a design award, contemplating accepting an offer to be an emerging artist (17 out of 90 applicants) in a HUGE craft show in baltimore next february --- yes, with all of these things, it is quite telling that the most exciting and proud moment of my day is that this morning my boy went peepee in the potty on his own accord. i am so very very proud of him!

2007-11-27T20:59:00.000-08:00

the talk last monday went well...the whole thing got me thinking a lot - which is usually a good thing. -- two days later i had to drop off my jewelry at the Walker so that they could enter and tag everything before this friday's trunk show. it was kind of crazy getting everything finished, inventoried and boxed-up. i dropped-off approx. 85 necklaces, 40 bracelets, 20 pairs of earrings and an assortment of 40 rings. a huge weight was lifted which allowed me to really relax over thanksgiving - which meant the natural mechanisms in my body that deal with stress were allowed to loosen-up which equated to a feeling of EXHAUSTION! it is amazing what one can push themselves to do ... whether it is mothering, running, working or the like ..... our bodies really can handle a lot .. at least right now mine can - and boy am i grateful!

WOMEN IN ARCHITECTURE lecture

2007-11-14T10:28:00.000-08:00

yes.. that's MY name on the poster -- yikes!

uh-oh

2007-11-13T20:04:00.000-08:00

today, november 13th 2007, marks the day that SILO learned the word "WHY" ..... our life will never be the same .....

uh-oh

ANNOUNCEMENT

2007-11-11T14:00:00.001-08:00

i've been pretty busy making jewelry for this trunk show that i am having at the walker. i've updated this blog with some of the new stuff/colors. i have a week and a half to finish assembling and get everything inventoried/documented/organized to hand over to the walker staff. wish me luck while i put my head down and begin to check off my to-do list....

obsessed...

2007-10-29T20:48:00.000-07:00

lately i've been obsessed with music ... like i've survived a drought and am guzzling it down like water. (trying to explain the drought could take a while, so i will pass...)
here are my latest obessions: dan wilson (we got tickets to his guthrie concert in the first 30 seconds that they went on sale... and about 30 seconds before they were SOLD OUT! no kidding) i listen to the 4 songs that he has on his myspace page at least everyday because i haven't been able to get my hands on the cd yet (yeah, i still like cds over downloads) -- and brandi carlile ... i'm sure all of you have heard her on cities 97 or grey's anatomy or somewhere like that. but MAN, i could listen to this song over and over and over!

pumpkin carving sagas

2007-10-28T20:37:00.000-07:00

phew....we've come to the end of a full weekend....what better way to get ready for the coming week (and halloween) than to carve a pumpkin? i don't plan my pumpkins much before carving them, because the difficulty of cutting through the thick veggie seems to alter the scale of my intentions, and then there is that initial sense of panic that comes after the first few chunks are removed...like 'boy, i really screwed this up!'..... but i adjust and usually end-up with ..... something. this year it was "BOO" -- a little too large (it is not possible to see the full BOO looking straight at the pumpkin -- you have to move around it.) (the 2 Os make for some cool owl eyes, though) .... and the detailing on the B is kind of annoying me ... the insides of the bubbles should have been anchored on the backbone of the B instead of on the face of the bubbles. that's what happens when you wing-it with out a calculated plan .... at least i can fall back on my past successes (when i was 10 i won a pumpkin carving contest at Herberger's in virginia, mn -- first prize was a POP SWATCH)(i loved that watch. oh what i'd give to get my hands on that thing today!)

namaste cafe'

2007-10-23T16:13:00.000-07:00

souliyahn & berry & i went to the namaste cafe for lunch today after a meeting ... YUM! YUM! YUM! the curry is sooooo good! and the decor is so pleasant (ok, yes we ate outside, but this cafe is in an old house and it is finished in such a clean and simple way that it makes your heart warm...in preparation for such lovely food!) can't wait to go back!

big woods run

2007-10-21T20:53:00.000-07:00

berry & i ran the BIG WOODS 10km this saturday morning. miss pettis was intended to run with us, and the papas & little guys were intended to be our cheering section. but with some colds going around, it turned into a runner's-road-trip for me & berry. --- we made it down to nerstrand just in the nick of time - to get our numbers on, visit the porta-potties, and adjust our shoe laces before the start of the race. we both ran a good race, finishing within seconds of our VICTORY 10km times - not too bad! we were treated to soup & bread & homemade cookies in the (st. john's) church that sponsers the event - which was a perfect way to round out the morning; sitting at long tables with all the other runners. berry even won a door prize - a jar of homemade grape jelly! (perhaps a weird consolation for the fact that they mispelled her name in the results -- barry -- not sure, though, if it makes up for the fact that they have her listed as a male!) -- it was a beautiful day, a super fun event -- and i look forward to running it again next year!

update: berry emailed them about the mistakes and they already changed it - hooray! such nice people!

fall = cooking

2007-10-16T20:55:00.000-07:00

i made meatballs from scratch (by myself) on sunday - for the very first time in my life. i felt like i was in the test kitchen - because i was experimenting with the traditional recipe for 'Finnish meatballs' ; changing ingredients, testing different processes and sizes etc. while we (the taste-testers) decided that they all were really good - we all agreed that the ones in the middle were the best (despite some of us having a slight attraction towards a different ball - shawn towards the little guys and me towards the baked-only)

two new

2007-10-15T14:00:00.000-07:00

now the only problem is deciding which to wear today!

"failing" motherhood

2007-10-13T15:37:00.000-07:00

OK. so a couple years back, there was a crazy obsession that infected my girlfriends and i, for my mother's homemade whole-wheat/sharp cheddar/crunchies-on-top macaroni and cheese. during that time, i think one of us must have made that dish every week. i had told myself that, as a mother, i would make certain the my child/children would know what REAL mac&cheese is, and that they would never ever chose to have the boxed-stuff over the REAL thing.

WELL, as the mother of a now-2 year old, i must admit time slipped away from me. the first time i made ANNIE'S *organic* white cheddar shells from the box, i knew it was just a test to see if he was ready for mac&cheese in general. the second time it was just because of time constraints. the third was because i knew he would eat it when he didn't want to eat much of anything else....and the following times that i made him the 'boxed-stuff' was because i now knew that he LOVED it.

SO this week, when i finally got my act together to make the REAL thing ... he took 1 (maybe 2) bites and then asked for some cereal and milk. the next night i reheated the left overs and another adult had to break the truth to me (because i didn't want to face it for myself)... "i don't think he likes it, tia" ..........

"i know...." i am so disappointed in myself... for failing this very simple motherhood-task. now, granted my 2-year old son has a mature palette: he loves 70% dark chocolate, finger-dips into his father's espresso, sucking on limes & lemons, nibbling tofu soaked in his father's 3-pepper-packet-spicy tom yum soup ... and will opt for a fruit leather over McDonland's french-fries. i know i'm not really failing. i just miscalculated a little bit..................

still green - morning of oct 13th

2007-10-13T13:57:00.000-07:00

tc10

2007-10-07T13:16:00.000-07:00

my friend, berry, and i ran the twin cities 10 miler this morning. berry had a fantastic finish {after dealing with an achille's problem in the past couple weeks} i finished in a decent time, despite feeling pretty disappointed. {i had a strong start and was keeping the pace i had hoped for until mile 6 when i got a big blister under the ball of my right foot. i ended-up alternating running and walking from mile 7 to the finish -- not a good place to have a blister. bummer.} it was a really HOT and humid day for running a race - i think everyone was feeling it. i can't imaging running the marathon! kudos to those runners! {next race: THE BIG WOODS RUN in 2 weeks...i'm hoping it will be COLD with no blisters!}

rainy sunday project

2007-09-30T14:12:00.000-07:00

like in the spring, i seem to be getting a fall-bug to clean and organize things in our house. it could be the weather, or the fact that i spent the last week in two NEW houses up north that are fresh and seemingly 'perfect' -- either way, i've spent the day rearranging our back tv/computer/play room (and watching the war on pbs) -- the new layout is not great, but at least we're looking at the tv straight-on (instead of at an angle) and it is clean and seemingly new for the fall & winter.

GLASSES

2007-09-20T11:02:00.000-07:00

so, about a week ago silo and i were playing and his head bumped into my glasses and one of the bows on my glasses cracked (half-way-through.) i can still wear them - but they are 5 years old and have been in need of replacement anyway. souliyahn and i have both been at a standstill, considering the cost of new (designer) glasses and the cost of lasik eye surgery and not really being in the position go in either direction.

WELL, an old IKEA-co-worker of mine told me about this website where you can order prescription glasses online for really cheap (like starting at $9.99) -- so i thought i would test it out.

this pair started at $19.99 - i chose anti-glare coating on the lenses, had a $9 up-charge because of my strong prescription (astigmatism in my right eye), added clip-sunglasses (not worth it after seeing them in person) for $3.95 .. and with shipping costs they ended at a whopping $35!

i got them in the mail today and am testing them out. anyone who wears glasses knows you need to get used to a new pair (different lense-shapes can make it fee like you're looking through a tunnel)...... so far, so good. not quite as showy as my old ANNE et VALENTINE pair, but a darn good deal! tomorrow i think i'm going to order another pair -- different style & color!

my BOY

2007-09-16T21:23:00.000-07:00

my son is a boy. no longer a baby...i mean, i've known this would happen, and i've known for quite a while that he is not a baby (despite the fact that he's still wearing diapers.) but he is just growing so fast. the most amazing thing about silo is that i feel like his personality has been so clear from the very first day that he was born. each day since has been a deeper exploration, but still a confirmation, of who he is. he does things a certain way, feels emotions his way, and just IS who he is. i believe this is true with most children and people, and even true with myself... but there is something more powerful about witnessing it from the very beginning with your own child. -- when my friend, patricia, was visiting recently i told her that sometimes i feel silo is developing 'in spite of' me. i realize how ridiculous that is to say, and she reitterated how ridiculous a thought it is by pointing out that even the simplest things that we take for granted (like a home & safe environment, the food we offer, the fact that he has a bed to sleep in) help him develop as a person. how simple a thought! -- it makes my head spin, sometimes, trying to be a good parent - when trying to decipher the best way to help him develop in the midst of the magazines and books and tv-programs and child-care centers and other parents talking about all the 'neccessary' things we need to be giving our children. is it enough for a child to explore and confirm who they are for the first 5 years of their life in the safety of their home/family before being so bombarded with the measure of society and structured education/school/daycare/preschool? do we tell ourselves that it is better for their social development to have them in pre-school only to make ourselves feel better for having to work, or wanting to hold on to a career? is the way that i was raised enough for his generation? are the basics still the basics, or are we skipping them to get ahead, or is it just that someone else is teaching them to our children? am i even capable of doing what my mother did? am i too selfish to give-up my own personal interests for the years it is neccessary? and then, isn't it healthy for him to see me working hard at something? does he (at 2) really understand that idea, or does he simply want me to play cars with him all day long? i don't know, sometimes ... i get overwhelmed at the thought of him being 2 years old already and even more overwhelmed with the "should" pressures, and perhaps most overwhelmed with my own self-inflicted guilt-trips -- it is important to remember that we've been taking it one day at a time for the past 2 years, and he has proven to be a smart boy who learns very quickly, despite my worrying, despite my selfishness .... and in spite of me.

wedding in the trees

2007-09-08T19:12:00.000-07:00

we went to a saturday morning wedding in the northern woods of minnesota. the setting was beautiful & i loved the paper flowers that magically floated above the party. it was a beautiful morning with great food, a fun crowd and became a perfect opportunity to get some current family photos.

labor day - victory 10km

2007-09-06T08:53:00.000-07:00

this is the course for the 10km race that my friend, berry, and i ran on labor day. it was a beautiful morning and there was quite a big turnout for the 25th annual Victory 10km/5km & kids 2km. i knew nothing about it until the week before, we quickly registered, and i am really glad to have run a race so close to home, near trails that i run on regularly. we had a small group cheering us on, including silo, jot, phon, shawn, meg & jeremy, which always makes a race more enjoyable! we both had great races, too- with speedier paces for each of us and good finishing times! berry: 53 min @ 8:30 pace me: 58 min @ 9:20 pace. not too bad! next race is the twin cities 10 miler in october. really looking forward to it!

check out

2007-08-27T20:52:00.001-07:00

Sara Glassman's Minneapolis/St.Paul Magazine blog:

http://msp.blogs.com/infashion/2007/08/in-and-about---.html#more

new direction

2007-08-24T21:41:00.000-07:00

so, i created a blog exclusively for my new jewelry line. i'm trying to work-out the details of it -- as it will now be marketed as part of a branch of silvercocoon called: SILVERCOCOON handmade. right now the blog is a means of showing the work, but i imagine/hope that it will evolve over time...into something more interactive, i guess time will tell. --anyway, there is a link here and to the right in my links column. thanks for checking it out and passing it on to anyone that you think might be interested.

2007-08-16T08:11:00.000-07:00

i've been working on some new jewelry and will have a table (along with several other brilliant artists/designers/makers) at this show/sale next thursday at the Soo Visual Arts Center. it should be a really great event. all are welcome - spread the word!

FINALLY

2007-08-11T13:13:00.001-07:00

i have posted a selection of pictures from our trip to FINLAND on my flickr. i have been sucked back in to the flow of our life - thus the reason it has taken so long to get these photos organized.

suomi > minneapolis

2007-08-01T12:09:00.000-07:00

we have safely returned home after a very long trip across the ocean. our flight left helsinki at 6:15am - which means we were at the airport by 4:00am and i was awake by 3:00am. it was rainy and almost COLD when we left finland and nearly 13 hours later, we arrived to a balmy-HOT minneapolis. i slept probably a total of 3 hours between the two flights (2.5 hour-flight to amsterdam and then about 8+ to minneapolis.) silo slept the entire first flight and two good chunks of the long-guy...which was about the best way to deal with a toddler-on-the-lap-in-coach situation. (the flight was entirely full, not one empty seat!)

needless to say, we were both exhausted last night. silo seemed to be doing better than me early-on in the day, fell asleep at the dining table around 9pm, but was up from his "nap" at 12:30am and ready to play! he slept again from 2am-10am. it will take a while to get back into a routine, i think.

so, organizing photos will take little bit of time, since i will be recruiting meg's MAC to retrieve all of the pictures i downloaded and burned onto a disk on teemu's MAC. hopefully it will work....

i will start sharing some random things. this is an action-packed video from OULU (with me narrating in an odd-accent i guess i'm one of those people who is an accent-chameleon.) imagine me on teemu's bike whose seat is just a little bit too tall for me, trying to take this video while not getting into an accident. (i have been known to get in bike accidents in finland)..... (the bike is a CHRISITIANIA bike, super cool!)

christiania-biking from keo boun pheng and Vimeo.

i will share more photos and vidoeo as i become more organized....

espoossa

2007-07-30T03:19:00.000-07:00

we have been having a lovely stay in espoo, with anna and jukka and artur. very relaxing in their beautiful home. my other host sister and brother will be coming over this afternoon with their children for dinner ... a great way to end our trip!

we get on a plane tomorrow morning at 6:15am and arrive home in the early afternoon of the same day (11 hours in between!) next post: pictures!!

täyty odota

2007-07-26T06:19:00.000-07:00

well, it appears as if photos will have to wait until we return to the states. i've got some good ones, that will hopefully be worth the wait.

we have been having a lovely stay in OULU. there is something very simple and appealing about being in a city that can function so well as a bike-city. Oulu has been planned (from very early on) as a biking-city: where bike-roads exist as substantially as roads for cars. tiina and teemu do not own a car. they do not need one to function in their life. we have biked everywhere, with kids in a kid-seat over the back wheel or both sitting in their SUPER COOL danish bike (you will see pictures) that allows the kids to sit and see where they are traveling (very important after a certain age as the side-to-side movement in those back-wheel-seats makes for risky driving.) Silo has thoroughly enjoyed riding on the bikes, and has been known to fall asleep quite easily!

tiina and teemu live on the other side of OULU, from where I lived with the Karjalainens (in Koskela) back in 1995/96. it has been great to get to Oulu from a different vantage-point and i really feel like i know the city in a way that i didn't before; one that feels familiar ... like a REAL place, not an exotic one. i really like that!

Oulu has grown quite a bit even since the last time I was here in 2003. apparently it is the fastest growing city in finland, which also makes it a very exciting place to be. the area by the water/sea had been revitalized quite a bit already 4 years ago. but the increase in the development/building of new housing is very noticeable in many areas. The standard of building in this country absolutely amazes me, particularly when comparing it to the types of things that are being built in the US, and even in minneapolis. the general architectural-vocabularly is so clean and modern and logical that it really feels like functionality, quality and beauty are the driving forces in even the most mundane things. the built environment on a whole feels like architecture - like architects are a part of the entire built environment. it is absolutely refreshing, considering the small percentage (something like 5-15%) of the US built environment architects are responsible for (think about any new suburb.) and the general 'feel' of most new suburban developments in our country.

people here are much more accustomed to row-houses or apartement-type condo buildings, to the point where families live 'together' in ways that you don't see in MN. they share space and community and all in all seem to need less and share more. perhaps this is a generalization, but generally it feels this way.

so, we leave tomorrow for helsinki. anna will pick-us up at the airport and we will spend the remainder of our stay with her family in ESPOO (a suburb of helsinki.) a very well-rounded trip!

ehkä tiistaina

2007-07-23T14:08:00.000-07:00

'maybe on tuesday' i will get around to posting pictures.
the days go by so quickly that i can't seem to get around to pictures before midnight and then i should really go to bed in order to be prepared for the next day (or for the unexpected with silo & sleep) -- but is also makes me think about amanda's TMI & anne's DIFFERENT PLACES posts, and i wonder: what happened to the days when my cell phone didn't work in finland? or we were really out of touch while one was abroad? i just finished writing a postcard to my parents and here i sit writing about it & and posting it, no less, for the whole world to read! it is quite remarkable the things we can share with eachother ... but it also feels good to be living each day so beautifully here in my second homeland. if i could get my act together, i could be sending you all daily 'post'-cards of our very own trip............ehkä tiistaina........

perjantaina 21 heinakuta 2007

2007-07-21T06:24:00.000-07:00

well, we've been having an eventful stay in MIKKELI ... it has taken a bit for silo to adjust to the time zone. the morning after my first post, he woke-up at 3:45am and there was NO way i was going get him to go back to sleep! with a house full of sleeping people, we ended-up going out for a morning run with silo in a finnish-buggy that worked quite well as a jogger! the amazing part about a 4am run in finland, is that there is virtually normal daylight but it is cool normal nighttime-air.

then again, that morning was the start of a 2-day cool-down -- cloudy, drizzly and COLD temperatures. felt like late-autumn there for a bit. the running joke is that the moment i bought silo a little finnish-raincoat the clouds separated and the sun came back to warm us all up. it has been here ever since! oh well...i've been meaning to buy him a raincoat anyway.

traveling with a toddler had proven to be do-able. it is the adjusting and recreating of a *routine* that is difficult...even more difficult with molar-teething-induced fevers that last more than 2 days! my poor little boy. with the children's motrine and silly antics of tiina's dad, we've made it through some of the worst teething silo has seen yet!

silo and eeli have quickly become buddies, despite language barriers. it has been fantastic to spend time with tiina's family to an extent i've not yet experienced despite knowing her for more than 10 years. i am excited for the next stop on our trip: spending time in tiina & teemu's home in Oulu ... and then to Helsinki to do the same with Anna & Jukka.

i realize that this isn't sharing much about what we have done, or seen or experienced -- but those stories are better told with pictures. i will be able to download pictures better once i get to OULU & we leave for oulu tomorrow... so please keep posted.

SUOMESTA

2007-07-17T07:04:00.000-07:00

We've made it to FINLAND! This is but a quick post (no time to spell or grammer check)

Our first flight was delayed by about 1 hour (after returning to the terminal from the take-off point of the runway) due to a computer that needed to be rebooted that was giving an error signal of some kind. Silo did really well on the plane - we were fortunate enough to get an empty seat for him (we were in the very middle of the 8-seat-wide plane) despite the fact that we didn't purchase one for him. He watched a bit of A BUG'S LIFE in the screen on the back of the seat in front of him, before falling asleep for about 4 hours.

Our flight from Amsterdam also left late -- about ½ hour -- we got a window seat this time which worked to my favor because Silo was on my lap this time. (He got a seat belt that buckled into my seat belt, which I never knew existed) I was somewhat desperate to get off the plane and collect my baggage, since I had only 40 minutes to catch the bus to Mikkeli ... with the 30 minutes lost I was cutting it very tight! Had my checked suitcase not been one of the last ones, I possibly could have made it -- but as it was I missed it by about 1 minute. Which was ok, because TIINA suprised me and was waiting for us when we came out of the baggage claim!! FANTASTIC to see her and fantastic that we got to travel the last leg of our trip with her!

We took a bus to the train station, had a lovely snack of cheese, crackers and finnish cucumber (the best in the world) before a smooth train ride. Silo crashed right as we were getting off the train -- sleeping so hard after such a long trip! Tiina's dad picked us up from the train station and his new fiance, Sirpa had a lovely snack waiting for us. Silo woke when we got to the house and we had a hard time getting him to settle down. But we slept 12 hours... ready to go!

SUOMI .... here we come!

2007-07-15T10:40:00.000-07:00

a mini-marimekko-quilt i finally finished -- just in time for the plane ride....

count down: 1 week

2007-07-08T20:26:00.000-07:00

in one week, silo and i will be on a plane headed to finland. i'm getting very excited. silo is, too. i've been telling him that we're going to go on an airplane and he says, "okay!" he has an old wooden toy airplane that he plays with, flying it through the sky. i ask him, "is that an airplane?" and he says, "okay." (ok=ok=yes)

places we'll be visiting:

Taidekeskus SALMELA.

mikkeli - oulu - helsinki

honestly, i am just looking forward to spending time with people, to get a sneak peak into their daily life and to be able to share in some of their normal routines. i like the idea of being able to picture where they are sitting when they are emailing or writing me after we return home, where they purchase their groceries, or what their daily schedule entails. i like the idea of silo remembering the same sorts of things, and of him building his own memories of the people who mean so much to me, at such a young age. if we can't live in the same place, at least we can feel a little bit closer in our minds.

food topic #3

2007-07-05T21:28:00.000-07:00

here is another good thing that you all probably know about already - but thought i would share incase you don't. my friend, meg, hooked me onto this, nickname and all .... "POMMY CHIP" - it is perhaps the best treat one could ever dream of!

amazing thailand

2007-07-04T20:11:00.000-07:00

well, to keep on the topic of food -- i feel compelled to mention a recent visit to a new restaurant in uptown - AMAZING THAILAND. we don't get out to restaurants much these days, having entered a window of time where silo's impatience makes it nearly impossible to get through an entire meal without having to let him run around -- but last night we did and it was noteworthy (ok, he did have to run around, but it was still worth it!) ---- we ordered pretty basic dishes: Tom Yum with chicken and Curry-Fried Rice with tofu and they both managed to take me by suprise.... very much worth a visit! i have since found this REVIEW that goes into more detail about the food, the interior design and also compares it to other restaurants in the metro.

a finnish breakfast

2007-07-01T12:28:00.000-07:00

our breakfast yesterday reminded me of a summer breakfast in finland - thought i should "practice" a little since silo and i are taking a trip to FINLAND in 2 weeks!

yes, we finally bit the bullet. souliyahn and i have been going back and forth for nearly a year, trying to decide a)how best to use our NWA-frequent flyer miles and b)how best to take advantage of the free/discounted travel for kids under 2 yrs. old.

so, since souliyah is swamped with work this summer and shouldn't take time off for a family trip somewhere domestically ... i bought a reward-flight for myself to finland (free!!!) and got silo a ticket at 10% of the normal fare. (quite tricky: domestically children under 2 fly free (on your lap) but when it comes to international flights they charge a "nominal" fee... 10% +full taxes and fuel charges=a bit more than one would expect, (still on your lap) but still a great deal!) (cross your fingers that our flight isn't cancelled.)

anyway, we'll be there mid to end july: the best time of the year because of the near-constant day light and the abundance of fresh produce in the markets! plus, it is vacation-month in finland, so my friends (tiina & teemu) and my host-sister (anna) will not be working while we are there! getting very excited - a bit aprehensive about the "traveling with a 23 month old" part, but it will be a good bonding experience for us!

garden growth update

2007-06-28T20:27:00.000-07:00

the king tutt (papyrus) that i was worrying about are not only alive, but are at least 5' tall already! their stems are triangular which makes perfect sense, structurally. amazing!
we've also been enjoying basil, cilantro, rosemary and lettuce from our vegetable pots...and our cherry tomatoes are already starting to ripen! yum!

aaaahh duluth!

2007-06-26T21:30:00.000-07:00

we just returned home after spending over a week in duluth. technically it was a work trip, to spend some time at the "corporate head quarters," but like any business trip, when you don't have to clean or do laundry or pay bills after hours, it slowly becomes a bit of a vacation, too.

the weather was absolutely wonderful -- i love the fact that it was over 90 degrees when silo and i left minneapolis and it stayed that warm the entire trip, until we started to make the decent into duluth, at which point the thermometer slowly took a plunge and landed at about 70 degrees. 70 degrees and sunny! who needs california??? (yes, yes, i know...duluth is not alwasy 70 degrees and sunny) but anyway, it was a lovely break from the heat that is the twin cities.

it was a week full of wonderful things: grandma's marathon/gary bjorklund half marathon, we had a lovely dinner with the heydts and finnigan/maughns, got to see courtney's big baby-belly, met the newest little salmela, got to see the kampf/wise garages (that souliyahn designed) being sided, spent evenings hanging out with my parents and my son ...
and perhaps the best way to end the trip was being able to take part in the MIDNIGHT SUN Midnight Run - a 5km run/race that starts at midnight and is put-on by my sibilings' retail adventure company. Their store is located in an old train station that was moved from its original location and placed along the boardwalk & lake superior just at the end of the canal park area of duluth. last year (the first year of the race) they had a suprising 135 runners/walkers on a weekday night! (it was on the actual summer solstice which was a wednesday.) this year, they moved the race to friday and had 330 runners and walkers ... and i was one of them! (thanks to brit and courtney for hanging with silo while i ran!) the course is almost entirely on the boardwalk and it was an absolute BLAST! it always feels good to run at night, but to be running along lake superior, with over 300 other people.....aaaah PRICELESS!

week in duluth

2007-06-21T12:47:00.000-07:00

silo and i have been up in duluth since last weekend. i've been working out of the main office of SALMELA ARCHITECT, which has been a nice change of scenery (turning your head to the right 45 degrees and watching one of many different ships sliding under the lift bridge!) but the best thing about being in duluth this week is that we got to meet the newest addition to our extended family: sofia marie salmela -- lussi's sister, my niece, silo's cousin, and 3rd grandchild to my parents! there is nothing like a new baby!

2007-06-19T20:52:00.000-07:00

so, i ran a half marathon last saturday - the first since giving birth to my son, since turning thirty - the first in three years. it felt different. my goal this time was to finish - and i did, but it wasn't easy with the heat or the knowledge of the course or the inevitible expectations that meld with memories of previous times running that exact race. but i did it -- and perhaps the best thing is that i have never recovered from a half marathon so quickly or so easily before in my life! so, now it is back to the drawing board -- to either train harder/differently/better, or else adjust my expectations for myself at this particular point in my life. i once told a good friend of mine that there is a time for everything in life. it is true... it takes courage to acknowledge where you are.